Mandarin does not use these Cantonese characters

In the previous article I wrote - about Chinese people confusing 'he' and 'she' when speaking English - we discussed a very common word that is used in Cantonese, but not in Mandarin. That got me thinking about other characters which similarly appear in Cantonese, but not in Mandarin.

Of course there are many expressions that are used in one and not the other (for example, while Mandarin says 不好看, Cantonese instead says 唔好睇) - after all, they are two different languages. But in this article I'm going to avoid expressions, and rather focus on individual characters that have this feature.

As a cheat - since I don't speak Cantonese :) - my starting point was to search in the MDBG online dictionary for the word 'Cantonese', which gave me 99 results, from which I started to whittle the list down to ones worthy of being included in this article ...

• 唔: This is the first obvious one which means 'no' or 'not'. In theory it's pronounced wú in Mandarin, but it's only* used in Cantonese where it's pronounced m4. This is extremely common in Cantonese, generally used where Mandarin would use 不 - so for example 'bad' in Mandarin is 不好 whereas in Cantonese it would be 唔好.
• 冇: In Mandarin it is pronounced mǎo, but in Cantonese it's mou5. The closest Mandarin word to this character might be 没有 (méi​yǒu - which even sounds very similar to mou5). This is another very common character in Cantonese. To be clear, I have never seen this used in Mandarin.
• 佢: This is he/she/it in Cantonese: keoi5. No need to discuss this one - since I wrote an entire article on it before :-)
• 嘅: This is the Cantonese equivalent of the Mandarin possessive article 的. In Cantonese 嘅 is pronounced ge3.
• 呢: This character as used mostly in 呢個 to mean 'this' - basically it's the same as 這個 in Mandarin (or 这个 in the simplified system)) and is pronounced ni1.
• 嗰: Similarly, this character is used for 'that' in Cantonese - usually in the word 嗰個, which is pronounced go2go3. Mandarin would use 那個 (Simplified: 那个) instead. 
• 喺: This is the Cantonese equivalent of 在 (to be at) - and it is pronounced hai2.
• 咩: This is pronounced me1, and it indicates surprise by turning the sentence into a question. For example, 係咩 (hai6me1) means "Really?"
• 佬: If you're a foreigner living in HK, you will hear this character every day - part of the word 'gweilo' - this character is actually pronounced lou2. Therefore 'gweilo' actually means 'male ghost' (and not 'old ghost' - which is a common mistake that confuses 佬 with 老).
• 乜嘢: This is pronounced mat1 je5 in Cantonese, meaning 'what' or 'why'. Since both characters are unique to Cantonese, and since they are commonly used together in this compound word, I just gave them a single entry. It has the same meaning as Mandarin's 什么 or perhaps 东西.
• 咗: This is pronounced zo2, and puts the sentence into past-tense, in the same way that Mandarin might use 了 or 过 (過).
• 咁: The character is pronounced gam3, and can mean 'so' (like Mandarin's 这样) or 'very' (like 很).
• 噉: This is the other 'gam' word of interest, although the tone here is different: gam2. It means 'in that case' or 'and then'. When I'm listening to my colleagues speaking on the phone, I hear this word a lot! (In written Cantonese, this is sometimes just written as 咁, apparently.)
• 啱: The character is the Cantonese equivalent of Mandarin's 对 (Traditional:對), meaning 'correct'. It is pronounced ngaam1.  (And because you, Dear Reader, are so clever - you probably already worked out by yourself that we can piece together two of these characters to get the Cantonese word for incorrect: 唔啱.)
• There are a few more that are worth listing here because they are quite common, but I will just group them together: They include 搵 (find, like 找), 瞓 (sleep, like 睡), 噏 (gossip), 攰 (tired, like 累), 嘥 (to waste), 屌 (to fuck), and finally 餸 (a side dish). 

In the past (before moving to HK), I had been reading Chinese comics which I picked up on my travels, wondering why I was struggling to understand the text so much - and I kept seeing strange characters (like 冇). That is how I originally realised that there are indeed characters which are used in Cantonese and not Mandarin, which explains why at the time I couldn't easily work out what the text was saying.

So now we all know. 冇問題.

Chinese characters, or art?

I popped across the border from HK to China a couple of weeks ago (I have a multi-entry visa, so I may as well use it!), and happened to see a couple of really clever stylised Chinese characters that felt more arty than just characters - certainly very cleverly put together.


The first one I took off the side of a box of tissues - which in itself is pushing the boundaries of what qualifies as art! Take a look ...

To my rather untrained eye, it looks like this character: 威 (wēi) - which has a dictionary definition of "power / might / prestige", and a Heisig keyword of 'might'.   I actually think it's quite beautifully done!


This is the second character I saw, at the China Ferry Terminal building:

This one was easier to identify, being 海 (hǎi) - meaning "sea / ocean / maritime".  I left the full picture in, so you can see it is the logo for the Marine Department.  The water radical on the left has been replaced by a stream of water, and the 母 (mother radical) has been made to look like a flag - which suits what it is designed to represent.


These are not the first times I've seen characters written up so artistically, but this time I happened to take pictures of them. If you have seen other characters done unusually, please include links below ...

Bad Heisig images & great Dali paintings

Discovering (un)treasure

It was about 2.5 years ago that I finished studying Book 1 of  "Remember the Simplified Hanzi" Heisig & Richardson. And as you might have seen from a relatively recent post, I've got Book 2 staring at me from the shelf ... but first I wanted to completely re-do Book 1, to make sure that I revised all primitive images, and was truly ready for the next installment.

In order to revise the book, I downloaded the Anki database of the book's 1500 characters, set it to 10 new characters a day, and just ran it from there. That happened nearly 150 days ago ... So I'm just a few dozen characters away from finishing the book. Again.

The database is pretty good, with the character number, hanzi, keyword, pinyin ... and it also contains stories (where Heisig & Richardson didn't provide their own stories). These stories appear to have been taken from a community effort to create stories for those characters that didn't get their own in the original book. I guess anyone would have been able to contribute their own story for a character, although I'm not sure how they chose which was the one to get into the Anki database.

Much of the time, I just stuck the the story that I had previously created myself, but every now and then I couldn't remember mine, so I looked at their stories. Some were actually quite good, but so often the stories left me scratching my head.

"The Persistence of Memory"

In this article, I have taken an extract of stories that I found in that Anki pack, and highlighted some of the ones that I don't like.

Of course, for the most common characters, you see them so often that after a while you forget the story and you just know the character. And that's OK. But there are some characters which I have barely seen since completing the book, and when I do see them sometimes, I do have to rely on the stories - and that's when the persistence of memory becomes important.

And this is going to be even more important for Book 2, I'm sure, given the even further reduced frequency of those characters.

This is not about personal preference of whether it's 'nice' - this is based on my being able to work through Book 1 in about 3 months, and seeing what did & didn't work. It's also based on now revising the book after 2.5 years, and noting which of my stories persisted, and which completely failed me after all this time.

No offense intended

It's possible that you were the author of one of the stories I have included below. No offense. But I think it might be useful to consider what makes a good story, and what is likely to give problems. And for anyone that thinks I've got it totally wrong, please leave some comments below ... I promise I won't be offended :)


The Hall of the (in)famous


760: 微: Tiny

The tiny sherpa (taskmaster) is leading this queue of brave ant mountaineers up the wall of the house and towards the ceiling where they can live in peace and security in the attic. Unfortunately, they didn't account for the strong winds that blow through the attic at that altitude, so they are all swept off the mountain (a wall) and back to the ground!

Two thinks go wrong, in my opinion:  Firstly, the story has too many 'equivalents' to be memorable: You have to remember that taskmaster is a sherpa (which may differ from your other taskmaster images), and a wall is a mountain - so when you see the image in your mind, will you remember to use a mountain? Or will the image of 'wall' arise and confuse you?  Secondly, there are too many extra words here, that are likely to confuse: house, ceiling, ground. These all have their own primitives, and this interferes with how the image persists in your memory.


950: 碌: Commonplace

Stones are commonplace - stone snowmen, less so!

Unlike the story for 'tiny', this one is simple with no additional confusing words. Good. But consider these two alternatives ...
 - Metal is commonplace - metal snowmen, less so!
 - Wood is commonplace - wooden snowmen, less so!

As you can see, although going from story to keyword might be possible, if you go from keyword to story, suddenly the requirement that the word is 'stone' fades, and you may not be able to remember what is the primitive on the left. Try to make the 'stone' more integral to the story.


951: 争: Contend

This drunkard has to contend with crossing a booby trapped lawn back to his house. First, he keeps stepping on rakes in the grass (which fly up and hit him in the face) and secondly he has to avoid getting bound up in the tough hedges all around.

Again, lots of extra words in the story to confuse which primitives should appear, like house & grass (which have their own primitives). Secondly, do you think you'll remember the word 'contend' when seeing the character? Or will you see the 'bound' and the 'rake', see the guy sneaking through the garden, and wonder if the keyword is 'careful' or 'dangerous' or 'injury' or ... 'contend'????


991: 乏: Weary

Zorro has become world-weary, having seen one too many drops of cruelty in his adventures.

This feels like a sentence and not an image. How do you visualise this? Will you still have memorised the phrasing of this sentence in two years time?   "drop of cruelty"?  I just believe that stories should be more clear, more explicit, less wordy, for them to persist in memory.


1036: 泻: Diarrhea
Diarrhea flows out like water, writing off the meal that you ate last night.

Yes the primitive on the right is 'writing', and in theory 'writing off' matches that. But as with the previous story, this would only work if you memorise the sentence. It's not an image, and it's unlikely to be remembered for long enough to be useful. I would really recommend your image either includes someone writing, or seeing writing on a page ... something that is visually memorable. And try be consistent: if it's someone writing, then always see someone writing to represent that primitive.

1157: 饭: Meal

At mealtimes you eat your food against the backdrop of a TV episode or some other entertainment. Mealtimes are the only things that will drag you out of contemplation of that idea that has been eating you up!

I don't even know where to begin with the confusion this image creates. Again, it is built on being able to memorise a sentence ("drag you out" - rather than seeing something being dragged;  "against the backdrop" - rather than seeing something against something;  "eating you up" - rather than someone actually eating). You are making it really hard for yourself if your images are based on memorising sentences, rather than picturing images that stick in your mind.

1178: 脑: Brain

The brain is the only part of Fagan's flesh this is worth anything - every other part of his flesh is cruel, despicable and nasty - from his top hat down to the pit of his stomach.

Double-counting! On the left is 'flesh' and on the right is 'Fagan' - thats is enough for a story.  Yet this one also includes the components of 'Fagan' (being 'hat' & 'cruel') - which is confusing.

1212: 请: Invite

You invited a few friends round for some drinks at your house, but the words got out and telescoped out of control! Now you have a full blown house party going on, and none of your words are helping to move the resulting mound of grown-up flesh from the house.

I'm sure by this time you're seeing that certain problems keep arising. Firstly (yet again) we have too many words ... drinks, friends, house, etc. Careful these don't confuse the image when you have to piece it together yourself. And secondly, it feels like trying to memorising a sentence again!  "telescoped out of control"?  "mound of grown-up flesh"?   Even if you see a wild party in your image, how will your mind remember "telescoped out of control"?  Can't you actually put a telescope into the image?

1252: 陈: Exhibit

The museum is showing off the pinnacle of Eastern transportation development. Forget Hyundai and Toyota - the humble rickshaw is the most amazing invention that they are exhibiting!

This takes the use of 'pinnacle' and again makes it wordy, rather than visual. In my mind I always use an image of the top of a certain famous building in London as 'pinnacle' - and any scene that takes place here will be obvious to me to use that primitive on the left, simple. And if you're thinking of this story/image, how will you remember to use the word 'pinnacle', and not 'top' or 'peak' or anything else?

1275: 决: Decide

"You Decide" - at least, since the last king had his head cut off by a guilllotine! Of course, given how effective democracy has been it would have been wise in restrospect to keep the head on ice to make decisions for us when the politicans are caught up in squabbling. Alternatively, this pictures someone who can't decide between two model of guillotine: extra tall or extra sharp? While he waits his feet are getting frozen to the ground in the cold air.

There are actually two version here. The first one has the added confusion of a head (careful not to use it as a primitive), whereas the second has the ground, which also isn't one of the primitives in the image. I'm not sure the link to 'decide' in the first one is obvious enough to be memorable.

1318: 蚊: Mosquito

Mosquitos are principally found in Scotland, where the insects bother the highlanders to their hearts content.

Heart's content? So there is the heart primitive in the image? No, so careful about using the word 'heart' :-)  And how does this story help you differentiate between mosquitos? Flies? Birds? All could work as it appears - but only one is right. Make sure your image involves them sucking blood - so it's clear this is a mosquito and not a fly.

1343: 遗: Bequeath

Bequeathing your possessions to your children can be an expensive road to go down, due to inheritance tax. Much better to spend it all before you die!

I feel I'm repeating myself here, so I'll stop after this one.  You can't visualise "road to go down" - not in the way it has been used in this story. Really try to be more explicit about a road, like having all your expensive possessions lined up along the side of the road, so you are in effect bequeathing it to anyone who wants to help themselves to something.


A Better Way

Ultimately this article is just to get you to think about what makes a bad story, to make sure you don't make these common mistakes. Trust me - you want these stories to last!

Here are some of the other posts I have written on making great images, so that you can succeed in learning to read Chinese ...

• Some early mistakes - try to avoid them
• Tips & Tricks for Heisig Visualisations - one of my most popular posts
• Using Modern Art to Learn Chinese - dealing with abstract imagery

With a clear set-up, images that do the right things (as per the links here), and which don't do the wrong things (as with the examples in this post), you are ready for visuals that will last, that will take advantage of the Persistence of Memory.


Good luck!  And let me know below if you disagree with my assessments - it would be interesting to hear from you. (And yes, you can even comment if you agree with my post!)

Heisig: my just desserts

I was reminded recently that there is a large gap between knowing individual Chinese characters, and being able to understand what the entire phrase or sentence might mean.

This is already an idea I know well, I certainly mentioned it a few times in my series on learning to read using the Heisig system, and I've left numerous comments on others' blogs to that effect.

Nevertheless, I felt this example was 'extreme' enough to be worth sharing.


As you can see from the photo attached, there is an item on this late-night dessert place, which says:
    南北杏木瓜雪耳


(By the way, I did screw up a bit by initially confusing the 杏 character with 否. Forgive me?)

Anyway ... so doing what I normally do, I tried to work out what the dessert was. Actually, from my Heisig days, I knew the meaning of every character, which are as follow:
    = South North apricot wood melon snow ear

I had no idea what that was!   (All I could guess was that there was melon in there.)

It's easy enough to put this through a dictionary, but even here, it doesn't get much better, because I'm still left with:
    = South North apricot [papaya] snow ear


Upon discussing this with a HK friend, it turns out that the expressions are Cantonese in nature, and so knowing Mandarin (or using a Mandarin dictionary) isn't going to help much. But I persisted ...

Now, using human input and a Cantonese dictionary, I discover that the grouping should be as follows:
    (南北杏)(木瓜)(雪耳)
    (almond)(papaya)(white fungus)


Aside: According to Wikipedia, apricot kernels are sometimes used instead of bitter almonds, but it seems to be accepted in HK amongst those I spoke to that when they see 南北杏 they generally take it to mean 'almond'. White Fungus, in this case, does indeed look more ear-like than mushroom-like.

So there we have it. (Although *I* didn't have it.  No, I ate some kind of warm red bean soup instead. Mainly because I didn't need a dictionary for that one!).

Chinese seems hard, but it's actually harder than that! :-)


Can you recall any specific words that you learned along the way where the word or phrase looks *nothing* like the characters which make it up? If so, please leave a comment below.

Life Sentences - a new series

This is the first part of a new series about sentences in Mandarin Chinese.

For a few months now, I have been on a new journey in my Mandarin learning. The previous one was working through Heisig & Richardson's first book (simplified or traditional, affiliated links) on learning how to read and write Chinese. I made it through 1500 characters in about 3-4 months, and I had great support from all of you as I did so.

But now being able to read & write characters, and having learned a whole bunch of compound words (through flashcards), I have extended this into understanding how Mandarin sentences are constructed. In my opinion, this is the least intuitive part of learning Chinese, and it's what keeps me from having coversations which flow as smoothly as I'd like.

Don't believe people who tell you that Mandarin is the same as English: subject-verb-object.  I mean, it is. Kinda.

The problem is that when you first get past "I drink beer" (我喝啤酒, wǒ​ hē​ pí​jiǔ) (subject-verb-object, in both cases), things get a bit fuzzy and non-intuitive. But once you've got a feel for Chinese sentences, it starts to come back into focus, and you realise that to a large degree (again!) it is S-V-O.

Just to show you what I mean about this being non-intuitive, take a look at the following sentences, which are arranged as follows:
   English
   Simplified Chinese
   Traditional Chinese
   Pinyin
   Literal translation

S1. What should I give him as a gift?
我该送什么礼物给他?
我該送什麼禮物給他?
wǒ gāi sòng shénme lǐwù gěi tā?
(I) (should) (give) (what gift) (give him)?

S2. She enjoys sharing her experience of learning the Chinese language.
她很喜歡跟別人分享她學習中文的經驗｡
她很喜欢跟别人分享她学习中文的经验｡
Tā hěn xǐhuan gēn biérén fēnxiǎng tā xuéxí Zhōngwén de jīngyàn.
(she) (very likes) (with others) (share) (her) (study Chinese)'s (experience).

S3. People who want a tattoo must go to a proper tatto parlour.
要文身的人, 必须去专业的文身店｡
要文身的人, 必須去專業的文身店｡
yào​ wén​shēn​ de rén​, bì​xū​ qù​ zhuān​yè​ de wén​shēn​ diàn​.
(want tattoo)'s (people), (must) (go to) (professional)'s (tattoo parlour)


Certainly not intuitive, but definitely learnable.


The purpose of this series is to get you as quickly from the "newbie S-V-O" to the "more advanced S-V-O" phase, without getting too stuck in the middle. And this is as much to document my learning for myself, as it is to share my learning for your benefit.


To make sure you don't miss out, ensure you subscribe to Mandarin Segments. I look forward to your active participation.

Copyright acknowledgement: Over time I have collected a variety of sentences, and loaded them into my flashcard system. By this stage, I no longer have any idea where they came from. Some are of my own construction, or from friends who have emailed or instant-messaged me. Others have been copied from websites along the way. To make sure I give credit where due, the following sites are the most likely external sources:
   About Mandarin
   JuKuu
   iChaCha
   Engkoo
   Bing Search
   20,000 Mandarin Sentences
   Nciku Dictionary
   ChinesePod
   Popup Chinese
   Collins (paper) dictionary


Articles in the Life Sentences series so far:

• Getting Sentenced in Mandarin: where to get sample sentences

To see all posts in the "Life Sentences" series, click here. 

HowTo ... start learning Mandarin

Let's Start at the Very Beginning

Once you've decided to learn Chinese (and see my article on why I specifically chose Mandarin, as opposed to Cantonese), you actually have to begin somewhere. There are so many options out there (online courses, podcasts, books & CD programs, Skype tuition ...) so let's start with a finite (and very clear) set of steps.

By the way, I'm not writing about how others should start to learn Mandarin. I'm talking specifically to you.

In the beginning, Chinese is actually a very easy language to learn - no conjugation, tenses also don't change the verbs, nouns don't have genders, the same subject-verb-object structure as English, and simple sentence structures . Of course, it does get more complicated, but you should be able to learn survival Chinese very quickly.

If you're a very serious student, my assumption is that you're going to register at a school for regular classes, with an expectation of several hours a week of classes and homework. If so, your teacher will tell you what books you need, and what program to follow ... and this post is not for you.

This post is for people who will start off with self-study, and may choose to focus on free but effective materials available on the Net. In other words, this post is just for you.

Principles behind my recommendations

• The sooner you begin, the better. Now seems like a perfect time.
• Create a study habit. Don't study on & off, whenever you feel inspired. Create a study habit.
• Learn regularly. It's better to do just 20 minutes a day (which is what I did), than 2 hours once a week.
• Focus on relevant stuff. Learn material you will use often, in day-to-day situations. If you're more likely to use the word "dinner" than "ice-skating", then learn the word for dinner. Honestly.
  
• Concentrate on spoken Mandarin first. You've got plenty of time to learn to read and write after you've got going. (Yes, I know this will be a controversial point, but I stand by it.)
• Don't necessarily try learn the tones. Yet. And I only mean in the beginning (just the first 3 hours of audio material) - listen to the lessons over and over again, and the tones will start to happen naturally. Of course, you're welcome to try identify and memorise the tones, but if you're listening lots, it will to a large degree happen automatically. (Ditto the controversy comment.)
• Stay focused on learning Chinese. People have complex ideas about learning languages, like trying to set you up with one-year-at-a-time study plans, building libraries for flashcard software, etc. You can waste time later. For now - keep it simple.
• Don't overdo it in the beginning. If you're self-studying, then you need to be self-motivated. Attempting to memorise hundreds of words and phrases in the beginning might speed you along, but if it wears you out, then you might quit quite early on.
• Be intelligent about the time you spend learning. When it comes down to memorising lots of words, use WordPacks, for example, to get more done more quickly - with best retention.

Summary (don't do these all at once!)

• Do the "Teach yourself Mandarin" 3 hour audio program (it's free)
• Read some articles about Mandarin, tones, Chinese culture, etc.
• Subscribe to ongoing audio program (I prefer ChinesePod)
• Learn to use an online dictionary
• Start memorising vocab (and use WordPacks!)
• Get a language partner

Method Description

Step 1. Cover the Basics.

Download the "Teach yourself Mandarin" series is available off the Times Online website

• It contains about 3 hours of free material, with a booklet for downloading.
  
• Get it on your music player, and listen to it often.
• When I began, all I did was listen to Conversation 1 from Lesson 1 - over and over again. I didn't try to memorise it. I didn't try work out the tones. I just listened, and repeated. No effort. After about a dozen times, I realised that the phrases were just popping out of my mouth - no effort.
  
• Then I moved to Conversation 2. Then Lesson 2. I kept returning the to beginning, going over those basics often.

• If you have limited time and thus make no effort to memorise the material, but just listen repeatedly (while creating a daily learning habit) then it might take you a few months to internalise those 3 hours of material.
  
• If you have more free time, and you take an active learning approach of studying and memorising (rather than just listening and listening), you can truly have taken in those lessons in a few weeks.

While you're working through this material, consider doing the following:

• read Wikipedia's article on Mandarin Chinese
• don't get carried away - focus on creating a daily learning habit, you can always increase the time later
• subscribe to this blog - there's a button for your favourite RSS feed on the front page (or at the very least ... bookmark this site)
• practise identifying the tones at this site
  
• learn a bit more about China, its people, its culture, its history - read some books (fiction, non-fiction, or photographic), or perhaps watch some documentaries about China, or even a Chinese movie

Step 2. Subscribe to an ongoing audio program.

Once you've been through the above course, and you have a good study habit going, then you need to subscribe to a podcast that teaches Chinese.

• I recommend ChinesePod, which is great for both teaching Mandarin as well as for maintaining my interest, but you might prefer Chinese Learn Online, or Popup Chinese, or some other program.
  
• The reason for getting a subscription (which is generally free for beginners) is you need to keep getting fresh material. If it hadn't been for ChinesePod, I would have got bored right at the beginning, and never made it this far.
  

Also, learn how to use an online dictionary. My favourite is MDBG.net.

• For example, can you work out what the Chinese word is for "orange juice"? And what is it that I can do, if I say "Wo hui xie zhong wen"? And if you saw this word on a sign - 酒 - what does it mean?

Take a read through About.com's intro page to Mandarin - you'll get some really good material there too.

Step 3. Learn vocabulary.

You're going to have to memorise vocab, so get over it. But be smart about how you do it.

• Use WordPacks, so that you learn with maximum efficiency.
• Choose phrases that you will use every day - like "Do you want something to drink?", "Dinner is ready", "Let's go", "Good morning everyone", "Where are my keys?" and of course "Kiss me again."
  
• Try to learn 1-5 words a day. Make this a habit. Don't just read 1-5 new words a day, actually memorise them. And revise regularly. Don't get carried away with too many - just create the habit, and build up from there.

Subscribe to a "learn Mandarin" blog or two. (You should already be subscribed to Mandarin Segments!)

Buy yourself a small paper dictionary - and learn how to use it.

Step 4. Get a Language Partner.

In the beginning it might just be someone who can answer your simple questions. You might then progress to someone that you can have basic communications with (in pinyin) using email or instant messaging. Build up to having conversations with them.

• If you live in China, then it should be easy enough to meet someone.
  
• If not, are there any Chinese people you work with, who would be happy to meet up with you and talk Chinese?
  
• And if you want to widen your net, there are plenty of sites where Chinese people make themselves available as language study partners (they help you with Chinese, you help them with English) - like Hello China, China Club or ForeignCN.

Warning: the dangers to look out for

• Don't do too much too soon. There is a concept called "gym blues" - where people go to gym for the first time, work out too hard, get really sore, and end up not going back. Don't do this here - start off slowly, establish a study habit, and then build up from there.
• Don't get too theoretical. You might not understand why saying sorry in Mandarin is basically the phrase "bad meaning" - get over it. Learn the phrase, use the phrase. Later, try work out why. With Chinese it's so easy to get caught up in the etymology of a single word, where in the same time you could have learned a dozen words.
• And don't spend too much postulating - time talking about learning, setting up study schedules, planning where you'd like to be when, choosing optimal strategies for learning ... just learn.

Just follow the above steps, and let me know how you're doing.

Trends in searching to learn Chinese

We know that people are using Google to search for how to learn Chinese, and Google Trends is a useful for comparing these searches over time.

Below you can see what happens if we examine the trends in relation to searches for the following three phrases: "learn chinese", "learn mandarin", "learn cantonese".



Clearly "learn Chinese" is the most popular, and indeed searches for Mandarin specifically are more than double the searches for Cantonese.

In general the trend is downwards, and other than an impressive spike around the time of the Beijing Olympics, it has continued to fall.

• Here you can look at a graph of the number of searches for the flashcard software Anki versus ProVoc
  

I've tried various other searches in relation to learning Chinese, but none of them were as interesting as the above. If you can think if any other good searches, leave a comment below.